Overcoming

Daydreaming of my roses!

Hello dear friends! Remember me?  Yes, it has been awhile!

Those health problems I was experiencing back in the Fall turned out to be the cancer rearing its ugly head again.  I've been on chemo since mid-December and I figured I'd be up and around in no time.  No such luck.  This chemo packs a punch and leaves me feeling very tired.  It also works slowly but after three months, my blood work last week showed that it's finally working!

I never wanted this blog to turn into a cancer journal.  I'd much rather share what's going on around my home and garden!  So I kept waiting until I felt better to post.  Unfortunately, the longer I stayed away, the harder it was to get back to blogging!  Now that Spring is here and I'm able to get up and around a little more, I'm going to slowly ease my way back to posting again.

I've truly missed you all!   I'm dreaming of my garden and what I'd like to do this year ... but I'll save that for another post.

Happy Spring!

Lavender blues ... and a health update!

Summer keeps blessing us with beauty on a daily basis!  Every time I go out to my garden, there's something new blooming or preparing to bloom.  The Winter was very hard on my hydrangeas.  Four of them bounced back not too badly but my pink one is struggling and I'm not sure it's going to make it.  It's funny how the soil affects the colour of the hydrangeas.  On one bush I can have blue, pink or lavender!  I'm rather partial to the lavender blue colour you see in the photo above.

And of course the lavender is blooming too!  I removed my oldest and largest lavender plant this spring because it had become so overgrown and woody and replaced it with a new one.  It will be another year before the new one flowers.  This plant has been in the garden for a couple of years and bloomed quite well this year.  As I have a lot of dried lavender in the house, I decided to leave the flowers for the bees.  Speaking of bees, I seem to have quite a few of them burrowing in the garden around this lavender plant!  I never knew ground bees even existed but they do.  They don't bother me so I'm leaving them to do what bees do best. 

I saw my oncologist last Friday to see how I'm tolerating the tamoxifen.  My ca125 hit an all time high of 6707 at the end of April, then dropped to 6083 on June 11 and was 1645 on Friday!  So it looks like the tamoxifen is working.  Unless something changes, I don't need to go back until the beginning of September so I'm pretty happy about the results.

The not so good news is that my 84 year old father fell down the stairs last Thursday night.  The ambulance took him to ER where, praise God, nothing was broken.  Then he fell again Saturday morning.  Other than scrapes and bruises, thankfully he's okay.  He's been staying with us since Saturday and we're in the process of making his home more liveable for him.  That will involve things like having stair lifts installed, arranging for more care at home and having an occupational therapist assess his home to make it more accessible.  Lots to do before he can go back home.

Last of the lilacs

My neighbour's mother surprised me with these lovely white lilacs a week ago!   She lives further north and east of us so her lilacs were still blooming beautifully.  My white lilacs had just a few blooms this year so I didn't cut any.  Which made these all the more special!

I'm so grateful that she extended the lilac season for me for another week! 

I saw my oncologist a couple of days ago to get the results of my last CT scan.   Unfortunately, the tumours are still growing.  He said because of the location of the tumours, it could take awhile before I start to feel any symptoms.  If I start chemo now, I'm going to feel sick but to just sit back and let the tumours grow is hard to do.  So we decided to try tamoxifen.  It has few side effects and has a 10-15% success rate in treating ovarian tumours.  If it works, I can stay on it for a long time (years).  Our goal is to stabilize the tumours and ultimately, start shrinking them.  I'll see my oncologist again in a month's time to see how I'm tolerating the tamoxifen then will probably have another scan a month or two later to determine if it's working.

One last thing ... the peonies are blooming!!  :)

Have a lovely weekend!

Choosing joy

 

Happy May, dear friends!   I'm sorry I haven't been around much lately.  I still haven't replied to your comments from my last post but I promise I'll get there soon!  

April and May have brought back memories of our last days with my Mom.  It will be a year tomorrow that she left this earth to go to her forever home in Heaven.  Since Easter, I've struggled with a lot of sadness and grief.  I wondered how I was going to get through this first anniversary.  Then I realized, why would I miss her anymore on the 365th day than I do on the 364th or 366th?  Every day I continue to learn how to live without her.   I will always miss her, whether it's been one year or ten.  Anniversaries will continue to come - some happy and some sad.

So I've decided to choose joy instead of sadness.  I'm choosing to celebrate all the blessings in my life.  Like these purple crocus in my garden.  (I thought I'd better photograph them before the rabbits finished them off.  Every morning I go out to find a few more blooms missing and the leaves nibbled to the ground.  The rabbits are very hungry after such a long winter and I guess anything fresh and green is delicious right about now!)  Mom loved the colour purple and she enjoyed seeing these crocus bloom in my garden every Spring.  

We have a choice as to how we live our days.  We can be sad or we can choose joy.  I'm choosing to remember Mom with joy.

I'm closing comments until I can get caught up with you all!

 xo

April showers, pussy willows and a health update

It's raining.  There's something so very welcoming about a Spring rain.  Not only does it wash away the last remnants of snow but it also washes away the dirt and grime Winter has left behind.  The grass becomes greener and life begins to stir in the garden.  April showers bring May flowers ...

Pussy willows have always been a favourite Spring addition to my decor.  I love their soft catkins and usually keep them around well into Summer.  I can't seem to let them go.

I had another CT scan last week and got the results a couple of days ago.  The tumours are larger than they were in December.  In fact, they've pretty much tripled in size since last October.  Not the news I was hoping for.  But there is a bright spot.  My CA125 dropped from 5700 at the beginning of March to 4400.  That's significant.  And hopeful.

After a lot of discussion with my oncologist, nurse and my husband, we're going to delay restarting treatment for a few more weeks.  I'll have another CA125 at the end of this month and another scan next month.  (I swear I'm going to start glowing in the dark!)   I'm feeling well and still not having any symptoms, which is good.  I'm not sure if I've ever mentioned this before, but I began adding curcumin (turmeric) to my diet last Fall.  One of my neighbours gave me a bottle of it along with the book Anti-Cancer by David Servan-Schreiber.  Among other things, he highly recommends adding curcumin to help destroy tumours.  I added it faithfully to my salad and in cooking on a daily basis and I think it helped a little.  After the 5700 CA125 reading, I decided to switch to capsules to increase my consumption.   My CA125 went down.  It could be a coincidence but my oncologist has other patients taking curcumin that have had good results.  So he told me to double the dose I've been taking and see if it goes down again.  Now I'll take curcumin capsules over chemo any day!  Especially since he told me that second line chemo has a 1 in 5 chance of working.  Yeah.  How's that for sobering?  Thankfully he's a little more optimistic - he says we just need to find the right drug and gave me info for 8 different chemo drugs we could try.  The remaining cancer is referred to as "platinum resistant" which is why the chemo didn't get it all the first time and why they won't use the same chemo again.  (Remember when I posted about those red, white and green jelly beans?)

I've made a lot of lifestyle changes since my diagnosis.  I've increased my intake of fruits and veggies.  I've cut back on refined sugars and flours with the goal to eliminate as many of them as possible.  I pray.  I meditate.  I try to exercise regularly but still need to work on that.  I think the warmer weather will help.

It took me a few hours to digest this latest news but I'm more determined than ever to fight and win.  I know that God has this under control.  He sees the big picture and knows what the next step is.  After all, it was expected that I would resume treatment last August and I still haven't needed it.  He's put healing into my path and all I have to do is trust Him and let go.  That's easier said than done but I'm working on that too.  Every so often I get scared.  And worried.  I have to remind myself to surrender it all to Him.

 

I hesitated whether to share this with you or not.  I haven't gone into much detail about the cancer or treatments, mainly because I want to focus on everything that's beautiful around me.  And believe me, I have a lot to be thankful for!  Having a life threatening illness really makes you appreciate the little things in life.  But every so often I need to share what I'm going through.  Thanks for being there when I need to.

Is it Spring yet? ... and some photography tips

Yesterday the sun was shining and the temperatures soared to almost 50°  - and today, it looks like this ...

A late Winter storm is dumping a whole lot of snow outside.  Talk about going from one extreme to the other!  A perfect day to stay inside and catch up a little.

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Last week, I discovered a swollen lymph node on my neck.  I called my oncologist and he took me in right away.  My CA125 was up last month (remember that lovely 888 reading I had?) to over 5200.  He took it again last week and it was over 5700.  So it's possible that the cancer is becoming active.  He moved my scan up to the end of this month so we can see what's going on.  As he says, the scan trumps everything so we'll wait to see what it says before we make any decisions.  I took a few days off to rest and not do much of anything.  I'm still feeling great; I have lots of energy, my weight is up (apparently that's a good thing!) so we'll just wait and see.  Worst case scenario is that it's time for more treatment.  Considering that I was supposed to start treatment again last August, I'm hoping that it still won't be needed yet.  I know I don't have to ask, but if you could say an extra prayer, I'd appreciate it! 

Now back to some fun stuff!  I bought these cute wellies yesterday.  They are such a departure from what I'd normally buy - something neutral and probably black.  Can't you just imagine splashing about in the Spring rain in these?  I'm keeping them by the front door so I can jump into them as soon as this snow melts away.  Just looking at them makes me smile.  (Isn't the rabbit sweet?  I bought it for the garden.)

More primroses.  Our local garden centre holds a farmer's market every Saturday from January until Easter and last week they gave every customer a free primrose.  I chose another yellow one just because I can't seem to get enough of that colour.  This one has the most wonderful fragrance!  Almost like freesias.  They don't normally have much of a scent so I was very surprised at how intense this one is.  Nice though.

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A few readers have been asking me about how I take and edit my photos so I thought I'd share my process with you.  I'm splitting this into two posts because it's just too long to go through my camera equipment, settings and editing all in one.  Today, I'm just going to talk about my equipment and what settings I normally use.

I'm a Canon girl - always have been, always will be.  I have a 7D and absolutely love it.  The best camera I've ever had.  When it came time to upgrade from my Rebel xsi (which I still use now and again), I was torn between the 7D and the 5D Mark III.  Why I chose the 7D is a personal one, even though at the time "everyone" was buying the 5D.  I liked the way the 7D felt in my hands so much better than the 5D.  The 5D was heavier, clunkier (to me) and I didn't like it.  At all.  I'm telling you this because you might feel pressured to buy what other people are buying but what you really need is the camera that's the best for you.

My favourite lens is my 50mm 1.8.  It's probably the best of the cheap lenses out there.  I've had it since the day I got my first dslr and I still use it.  When I'm taking photos indoors, I always, always, always use a tripod.  And a remote.  My other must have piece of equipment?  A white foam core board from the dollar store.  It makes a great reflector.  See?  You don't have to spend a lot of money on equipment.  :)

The settings I use vary depending on what I'm photographing and the light that's available.  I never use flash.  It's off permanently and I highly recommend you do the same.  When indoors, I usually use Aperature Priority (Av on the Canon) because the only thing I might change is the aperature (please, please, please! don't use auto to take your photos).  If I'm using my 50mm lens, I like shooting "wide open" at 1.8.  I sometimes go smaller but not usually below 3.5.  (Learning aperatures and shutter speeds took me years but once I did, it was like a light bulb going off.  It made everything so much easier.)  Most of the time I set me lens to automatic focus because it does a better job at focussing than I do.  I play with my exposure compensation depending on the available light but at this time of year, I usually use 1 (or higher).  And indoors, I prefer using the automatic white balance setting just because, on my camera, it gives me the best result.  ISO ranges between 200 to 400; mostly 400 this time of year.  The higher you go with your ISO, the more "noise" you'll have in your photo.

Are you nodding off yet?  :)

The best advice I can give you if you want to improve your photography is to read your camera manual and practice, practice, practice!  The manual has all the information you need.  Learn the rules.  Then break them.  :)  Photograph your coffee mug, your shoes, your table.  Whatever.  You don't have to show them to anyone.  Just play with your settings until you know your camera inside out.  I'm still learning about mine and I've had it over 2 years.

I hope this is somewhat helpful.  If you have any questions or something isn't clear, ask away!  Leave your questions in the comments and I'll answer them there so everyone can see them.  Or you can send me an email if you prefer. Next post, I'll go through my editing process.

xo,
Lynda

White tulips, an update and a makeover

I've been unintentionally absent for a couple of weeks.  I'm not even sure why.  Maybe I couldn't bring myself to post one more photo of snow.  Maybe it's a case of the February blahs.  Maybe I couldn't think of anything to post - except for the previously mentioned photos of snow which, after awhile, begin to all look alike.  Or maybe it's been a combination of all of the above.

I've been immersed in design books and magazines, redefining my list of projects.  Most of them are a little more than I can handle right now.  As much as I want to tackle a huge room makeover, I'm just not ready.  But there are a lot of little projects that I can do like moving things around and changing things up ~ which is exactly what I'm doing.

I found these tulips at the grocery store last week - for $4.99.  You can't beat that price for a touch of Spring!  White flowers are very peaceful and I think make a nice transition from Winter to Spring.  Somehow red or yellow or purple just wouldn't work.  At least, not for me.

In an effort to change things around a bit, I popped them on this vintage chair instead of the dining room table or sideboard where I usually place flowers.  Sometimes it's the small things that make a big difference.

A little update ... I saw my oncologist earlier this month to (finally) get the results of my CT scan from last December.  My original appointment was rescheduled due to a pipe bursting at the cancer centre.  The tumours have grown marginally since October but Dr. H. said he isn't overly concerned and thinks we can still delay treatment for several months.  In fact, I don't have to have another scan until the end of April!  It might not be long before I'm ready to handle a major room renovation after all.  :)

One more thing ... my blog has had a little makeover.  I wanted to add a touch of colour and make the whole thing a little easier to navigate.  Let me know what you think! 

xo,
Lynda

Golden October ... and some {good} news!

"I'm so glad I live in a world where there are Octobers."

~ Lucy Maud Montgomery

This past week, the trees have really been putting on their colours.  Our ash tree changes to the most beautiful shade of golden yellow and depending on the light, at times it casts its golden glow over everything.

We've been enjoying amazing weather!  Warm and sunny, it's been a stunning Fall so far.  The colours are expected to be magnificent this year.  I have to say that so far, I agree.

I'm glad I photographed the fallen leaves along the curb.  The next day they were gone, a combination of a light breeze and neighbours raking their leaves.  This scene just caught my eye and I knew I had to capture it.

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I had my CT scan on Tuesday and saw my oncologist yesterday for the results.  All your prayers and positive thoughts worked!  My CA125 dropped from 4918 in August to 888 in September!  My lowest number yet.  I realize that I'm still a long way from being in the normal range but seeing it drop so much in just a month had me doing my happy dance!  Dr. H. asked me what I've been doing so I told him about drinking ginger tea & green tea daily and how I've recently added turmeric to my diet (I'll explain more about this in a later post).  I also practice meditative prayer and visualization daily.  He said to keep it up because it's working!!  My CT scan showed the tumour on my aortic artery is slightly larger, I have a new tumour between my stomach and spleen that's about the size of a blueberry BUT the tumours that were in my pelvis are gone!  I don't need any treatment yet and don't have to go back for another scan until December!  This is the longest I've been able to go between check-ups.  So yes, I am ecstatic! (Hence the number of exclamation points!!) A huge thank you for your prayers and positive thoughts.  I know you've played a role in helping me get here.  I'm now praying for all the tumours to go and that my next scan reveals no evidence of disease!  I'm shooting for the stars!  Why not??  :)

xoxo,

Lynda

{p.s. - I'll be sharing my home project "to do" list in my next post!}

Welcoming Fall

Fall has to be my favourite season ~ especially September and October!  Sunny days, cooler temperatures, that gorgeous golden glow ... what's not to love?

I've started to bring a little Autumn colour into my home.  For the past couple of years, I find that I'm drawn to natural elements.  Whether that's a reflection on what's happening in my life or I'm growing in a different direction, I'm not sure.  This year is no exception.  I bought a few branches of bittersweet at our local farmer's market and tucked them into a vintage ironstone pitcher.  I'll be adding pumpkins soon.

I love burnt orange ~ the colour and the name!  I'm usually not a huge fan of orange but burnt orange is different.  Softer, more muted, I think.

My jelly cupboard is on my list of things to make over.  It's one of my favourite pieces of furniture (I have a lot of favourites in this post, don't I??) but the colour, not so much.  Natural pine tends to take on an orange-y hue as it ages and definitely NOT burnt orange.  I'll be experimenting with some milk paint that I've just purchased, tackling a few small projects to see how I like it before I take on this cupboard.  Stay tuned!

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I am really, really behind with reading and commenting on your blogs.  My sincere apologies for that.  I love getting comments and I know you do too.  I'm always grateful that you take the time to leave them.  I will catch up with you all.  Soon, I hope.

I just realized that this weekend is the last weekend of September.  Didn't September just start like a week ago???  

And a quick update ... I saw my oncologist on Monday for my monthly check-up.  My ca125 was 1575 in July so I was expecting it to be somewhere in the same neighbourhood.  No such luck.  It jumped to 4918 in August (below 35 is considered normal).  So Dr. H. has me scheduled for a ct scan next week and another visit to him the following day for the results of the scan and my latest ca125 from Monday.  In his words, it looks like something's definitely going on.  I know so many of you are already keeping me in your prayers (thank you!!!!) but I'm asking if you would say an extra one for me that my scan reveals no change.  I'll update you on the latest results next week.

Now let's get back to some fun stuff!  My project list grows longer by the day and I can't wait to start getting to a few of them.  In my next post, I'm going out on a limb and tell you what I plan to get up to.  That way, you'll be waiting for the results and I'll have to actually accomplish something!  At some point, I'm going to have to stop coming up with ideas and put a few of them in motion.

See you soon!

xoxo,

Lynda

A symbol of hope

Hi everyone!  It's good to finally be back!  These past couple of weeks have been a whirlwind.  We had a really lovely time with my brother-in-law and his wife but I'll admit that it was a little tiring.  I'm not used to that pace anymore!  We've just been catching our breath this week, slowly getting back to some sort of routine.

 
September is Ovarian Cancer Awareness month. Before beginning my journey with ovarian cancer, I have to admit that I knew very little about this disease or that it even had a month, a symbol or a colour (it's teal just in case you were wondering).  The sunflower is a symbol of hope.  Hope that there will soon be a screening test so that women can be diagnosed when the cancer is in its early stages.  There isn't a screening test for ovarian cancer ... yet.

The symptoms are vague (it's been known as the disease that whispers) and often misdiagnosed (like mine!) resulting in most cancers being diagnosed at an advanced stage.  The statistics are pretty dismal.  I don't pay any attention to the statistics anymore.  I know what they are but I'm not a statistic.  I'm a survivor. Or surthrivor. Or overcomer.  Whatever term you want to use.  I'm fighting this disease with everything I've got.  And I'm going to win.  {You hear that cancer?}

Click here if you'd like more information about ovarian cancer.  "Knowledge is power."

Yep, that's me!  My husband took this while we were visiting Niagara Falls last week.  I wanted to show you how long my hair is!  lol!  It's nice to finally have hair again, even if it is super short.  I don't look like a cancer patient anymore.

Hope you have a great weekend!  See you next week.

xoxo,
Lynda

Smelling the roses

 

My garden is once again filled with roses!  Wish you could smell these in the pitcher on my window ... a combination of David Austin's Winchester Cathedral and Abraham Darby.  Heavenly!

And that is what I'm doing ... taking time to smell the roses.  I met with my new oncologist yesterday and all my fears of not liking him, or what he has to say, have vanished.  He's very nice and I think we'll get along just fine.  Basically, we're going to watch and wait.  I'll be monitored monthly but won't need to resume treatment until something changes.  He's unable to determine whether this is part of the original disease or a recurrence because there were no scans/CA125 done until after first line treatment ended.  So he's going to treat this as a recurrence.  As long as the cancer remains stable, I won't need to go back for more chemo.  It could be 1 month, 1 year ... or who knows???? ... as long as I'm feeling well (which I am!) and there's no progression of the disease, I'm good.

I'm taking a blogging break for a couple of weeks as we have relatives coming to visit at the end of the week.  I can't wait and am really looking forward to our time together!

Something else that has me excited this week ... this course popped up in my email today!  I'm signing up!  I love the holidays and decorating and can't wait for this one to start!

Enjoy these last days of August!  I'm not quite ready to say good-bye to Summer but I have to confess that I find my thoughts turning to Fall every so often.  See you soon!

xo,

Lynda

The fight isn't over ... yet

Unfortunately my visit with my oncologist yesterday wasn't quite what I expected to hear.  The CT scan revealed multiple cancer cells in my lymph nodes along my aortic valve and in my pelvis. So that darn CA125 was right after all.  The lymph nodes were clear 4 months ago during my surgery.

My oncologist likened the cancer cells to a bowl of jelly beans.  You've got red ones, green ones, white ones, etc.  The white and green ones are cancer.  The chemo killed off the white ones and kept the green ones from being active.  But now that the white ones are gone and I'm finished chemo, they're able to get food and oxygen so they became active. 

What does all this mean?  Well it's back to chemo I go!  This time for a different drug that will kill off the green ones and put me into remission.  I don't know when I'll resume treatment.  Dr. M. said I might as well enjoy feeling good for awhile.  It won't make any difference if I have chemo 2 weeks or 2 months from now, it will still kill the cancer.  But, to throw another twist into things ... Dr. M. is going to semi-retire next month and will no longer be doing chemo.  So I'm being transferred to a new oncologist!  I'll need a consult with him to discuss my treatment options.  His specialty is ovarian cancer and chemotherapy so I'm optimistic that he'll give me the right cocktail to get rid of this.

I'd be lying if I said I wasn't upset hearing this latest news.  And yes, there were a few tears shed.  But I believe 100% in God's healing and know that He will fully and completely heal me.  My faith wavered after my Mom died.  I prayed so hard that she would get better and when she died, I thought that if she could die, then I could too.  I've finally been able to push those thoughts out of my head and turn all my energies into knowing that I will get better.  I'm so grateful for your prayers and positive thoughts.  I had told Dr. M. that I planned to live to be 100 plus one day.  Yesterday, I told him I had revised my goal and would settle for 99.  :)  And that is still my goal.  To live a long and healthy life.  To be pottering about my home and garden when I'm 95.

So there you go!  As I said, not what I wanted to hear but I can get through this.  I believe nothing happens without a reason and while I don't now know why I need to go through treatment again, someday that reason will be clear.  In the meantime, I'm going to continue to enjoy summer, my garden and focusing on health and healing.

love,
Lynda

Soft Pink Roses

My New Dawn climbing rose has taken a little break from blooming but just last week, it was chock full of beautiful soft pink roses.  They'll be back once the temperatures cool down a little.  I've had to water twice a day on more than one occasion - in the morning and again in the evening.  The poor hydrangeas just can't seem to get enough water and the bird baths are practically empty by the end of the day.  The birds are constantly drinking and bathing themselves and I've even seen a few "arguments" as some birds are getting a little possessive.  One robin in particular seems to think that it's their own and chases away any other bird that dares come by to have a drink.

Already the cicadas are buzzing in the trees and I'm enjoying these lazy hazy days.  Not much is getting accomplished but isn't that what summer's all about?  Most mornings, I like to sit on the porch with my coffee reading or daydreaming until it gets too hot to stay outside.  I signed up for a jewelery making course taught by the wonderful Andrea Singarella and hosted by Jeanne Oliver.  Andrea is an amazing teacher and I've already made a bracelet and a pair of earrings.  More than a few hours have been spent browsing through Etsy for beads!

Just a little update on my recent test results ... I had my CA125 repeated and it went up even higher to 1575.  I had a CT scan this morning of my chest, abdomen and pelvis and I see my oncologist next Wednesday to get the results. I'm optimistic that my scan will be clear and I'll be in remission!

See you soon!

xo,
Lynda

Pretty Cosmos

I've never had cosmos in my garden before and I don't know why!  They're gorgeous and so easy to grow.  I only planted four this spring, just to see how they'd do.  It tends to get very windy around here and even though I planted them by a fence, I wasn't sure how they'd manage getting battered about.  They're doing just great.  I'm already planning to plant more, lots more, next spring.

The bees love them too!  This little guy was busily going from flower to flower as I snapped away.  A few actually turned out.  :)

We had a really lovely Canada Day weekend.  The weather was nice, not raining (for a change) or so muggy that you feel like you're in a sauna!  We were able to spend most of the weekend out in the garden and are actually making some progress.  Finally.  This past weekend was another story.  Wet, hot and humid.  And there are armies of mosquitoes are out there, ready to attack the minute you step out the door.

I also saw my oncologist last Wednesday.  Physical exam revealed no tumours.  He was pretty confident that I was in remission. A follow up appointment was scheduled for six months but my blood work hadn't come back yet.  My nurse assured me she'd call later that day.  We waited and waited. No phone call.  Finally she called just before noon on Thursday.  Not good.  My CA125 was 1455!  Way, way too high.  It should be well below 35.  Back to the cancer centre Friday to have the test repeated in case it was a false positive.  I should get the results today or tomorrow.  I'm trying not to worry.

See you soon!
Lynda
xo

Heartfelt Thanks

Thank you.  These words just don't seem to be enough to convey my gratitude to each and every one of you.  I want to thank you for your kind words after the death of my Mom.  To thank you for supporting my husband and then myself through our cancer diagnoses and treatments.  To thank you for continuing to read my blog, even though I didn't update for months at a time.  I always knew that you were more than just readers, you're also friends.  And I love you all.

I've finished my last chemotherapy treatment.  What a wonderful feeling that is!  I'm scheduled to see my oncologist in early July to determine if the cancer is completely gone.  My energy and stamina are still quite low but improving every week.  And I can't wait for my hair to grow back.  While showers are a breeze and there's never a bad hair day, I'm a little tired of the bald look.

And I think (fingers crossed!) that I'm back blogging again!  Although my lilacs have long since faded, I'll have more photos to share with you in a couple of days.

See you soon!  xo

Picking up the pieces

This past year and a half has been a rough one for me and my family.  And now my beautiful, sweet Mom passed away suddenly on Monday, May 6 after a brief illness.

My Mom was more than a mother to me, she was also my best friend.  We enjoyed doing many of the same things, going to the same places.  She taught me to sew, to cook and bake, to garden.  We shared recipes, quilt patterns and more.  My love of local history comes from her sharing her stories with me, of introducing me to historical homes and villages from a very young age.  My Mom loved lilacs but never got to see them bloom this Spring.

We spoke every day on the phone, about everything and nothing.  She was always the first person I called for advice.  She instilled in me a love of family and home, of what is truly important.  My Mom would do anything for anybody.  Right up to the end, she worried about me and my cancer, not wanting me to visit her at the hospital for fear that I would pick up a virus due to my compromised  immune system.  I went anyway, just as she would have done.  She made sure I had homemade soup for my bad "chemo" days, when that's all I can manage to eat.  I'm still trying to imagine living in a world where she is no longer there.

My last chemo treatment is scheduled for later this week.  It will be bittersweet for me because Mom wanted so badly to see me finish treatment and be cancer free.

Mom,  I will miss you every minute of every day for the rest of my life.  I will miss your smile, the sound of your voice, your laughter.  I love you so much.  Until we meet again ... xoxo

Getting by with a little help from my friends

Dear friends,

It's been a crazy month since I last posted!  I've moved back here to Blogger and I'll explain why in just a moment.  If you've been forwarded here from lyndanaranjo.com, you're in the right place.  While I was able to move my posts over, I lost all your lovely comments and I am sorry for that.

As I mentioned in my previous post, I hadn't been feeling well for several months and had been undergoing tests.  Around mid-December the pieces started to come together and over the holidays, I was diagnosed with ovarian cancer.  This came as quite a shock for a number of reasons.  Mainly because my husband battled cancer last year and just finished his treatment at the end of October but also because I had had a pelvic exam in June and it was normal.  So when I began having issues of indigestion and stomach problems, ovarian cancer was not even a consideration until several months later.

I start chemotherapy this week and will receive 3 treatments, 3 weeks apart.  I'll then be scheduled for surgery and have another 3 chemo treatments after that.  I'm going to lose my hair, which I know is a small price to pay but ...  I believe 100% that I am going to beat this!  I'm already planning that by the summer, I'll be out in my garden taking photos.

Speaking of photos, my photography has been shelved for the rest of 2013.  My Etsy shop remains closed and I will not be updating my Facebook page.  I plan to blog when I'm able and will visit your blogs whenever I can.  You'll probably find me on Pinterest regularly too. And if you like, you can friend me on my personal Facebook (just leave a note in your friend request letting me know you read my blog, otherwise I may not accept the request!).  It's easy for me to update Facebook and Pinterest from my iPad.  Right now I spend a lot of time laying on the couch with a heating pad.  It's the only time I'm comfortable.

And that is why I decided to move back to Blogger.  While I was happy with having a self-hosted blog and website, it's not something I need at this time and it was a lot more work.  I just want to be able to blog now and again without thinking of backing up my site and dealing with the huge amount of spam that comes with self-hosting.  Blogger is much more simple and I need simple right now.

I also have a wonderful update for you!  Bobby saw his oncologist yesterday to get the results of his tests that he had over the holidays and he is cancer free!  He'll continue to be monitored every 6 months for 3 years and then annually for 2 years.  So if he can beat it, so can I!

Normally, I don't like to post without including a photo but this time I've had to make an exception.  I know I don't need to ask for your prayers and positive thoughts because they're already there and I'm so grateful to each and every one of you.  As my post title says, I'll get through this with a little help from my friends!

xoxo,
Lynda